"ALLOW ME TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF, MY NAME IS..."

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do..."
--Marianne Williamson

Ok, so maybe this is more of an intro than a re-intro, but isn't Hov the best? I'm sure many of you disagree but guess what? I DON'T CARE. Ok, maybe I do care, but you'll never know it. See I have a real problem expressing myself. Those who know me would never suspect it because to them I'm this outspoken, tough as nails, in your face, confident woman. A character I created to mask the pain.

My pain spans two decades and six years. All my life I've know it. For most of those years, I was on autopilot. I put my mask on everyday and kept it moving while pushing the emotions to the side. Then a funny thing happened on my way to adulthood...I fell in love. Love did me so wrong. So, so wrong.

For me to say that the past seven years have been an emotional roller coaster would be an understatement. It's been a nightmare, but at the same time I've been able to see myself more clearly. I've been able to identify the source of my pain and what has caused me to make so many bad decisions. Believe me, I'm nowhere near where I need to be. I am by no means a whole person yet. This blog is part of the process.

I'm beginning to realize why this journey is necessary. Music has always been a big part of life. It's my destiny. I won't say that I'm "destined to be a STAR", because I already am. We all are. I know, I know..I sound kind of corny right now. I was once told by my "Angelito" (more about him another time) that what I really deserve is for the whole wide world to see my light shining from within. So you see, we all have something positive to contribute to the world. We don't need to reach Hov, JLo or Tom Cruise status to be considered stars. It's not about how many people recognize our talents and contributions. If you know you're the shit then nothing else matters. Project positive energy and it will come back to you tenfold. I know...easier said than done...