"Women are systematically degraded by receiving the trivial attentions which men think it manly to pay to the sex, when, in fact, men are insultingly supporting their own superiority."
--Mary Wollstonecraft
The A&R Power Summit was so dope! I really enjoyed myself. I swear I was cursing the people who sent me the whole way there for making me go out during a fuckin flood. Plus I was kind of scared of going alone, but I realized that I am so much more capable than I give myself credit for. I worked that crowd like a true business woman. You'd be proud of your girl! I made a lot of connections.
My old boss at the brand marketing firm that I worked at for four years once told me that the music business is worse than the movie business and that's really bad because the movie business is cutthroat and you lose years trying to make something happen for yourself. I agree with her, but at the same time, I'm willing to sacrifice 100% peace of mind for the chance to do something that I love.
I think my biggest insecurity about being in this business has to do with my looks. Don't get me wrong, as I've said before, I'm happy with the way I look. I've accepted myself, but the industry is so image driven even for the non-performers. Even though I have designer duds and unique features, I can't help but sometimes compare myself to the video hoes or wanna be hoes who attend some of these events. I know mentally, those broads can't hold a candle to me, but you know...
Jeff Robinson, founder of MBK Management (Alicia Keys manager) kind of brought that insecurity out of me for a second on Sunday. Here's what happened. A Caucasian girl approached him and gave him a demo package from a group that was standing nearby. I watched him flirt up a storm. He took the demo package and went straight to the group and spoke to it's members. He said, "you guys are smart for having the best looking girl in the room hand me your stuff." He then proceeded to chat them up for a few minutes and it seemed to me that he made them a priority. This is all without listening to their music yet.
So I approach him next and introduce myself very professionally. The look on his face read "What the fuck do you want?" Despite that, I went on and gave him the disk of the group's material that I wanted him to check out. He handed the disk (a professional disk with a bar code mind you) to a flunky and walked away without a word. For a second I was ready to walk out, but I caught myself. One man's trash is another man's treasure. Isn't that how the saying goes? I'm glad I did stay because after Mr. Robinson rejected me, I met many other people in a better position to understand my place in the industry. I exchanged contact info with journalists, producers, Directors of A&R for major labels and most importantly, potential clients. My intelligence and business savvy were allowed to be on display and unlike my Caucasian sistah, I wasn't being objectified.
That brings me to another interesting thing. Don Imus. How is Jeff Robinson, the guys in that group who used that girl as a pawn or any other man of color who see women as nothing more than a "whoe" any different than Imus? I'm a hip hop head true to the core and I don't respect what that jerk said, but he was right when he said that the words he used are ubiquitous in rap music. He is not to be excused, and Imus is a very intelligent man so I refuse to believe that his rant wasn't part of a larger plan he and hip hop's critics decided to set into motion. I won't bore you with my conspiracy theories but let's just say that there was a reason why it was a group of young black women who were the victims of his outburst. Had the victims been male, things wouldn't be as calm as they are now. Believe me. Anyhow, my point is that people like Imus will always be derogatory towards us as long as our own people allow each other to do it. It's the same debate as the N word. If we say it and if we continue to degrade our own, what's to stop others from doing the same???
